:: Driving me Crazy... ::

:: Friday, September 13, 2002 ::

I know, I know. Brake-testing other cars on a public highway is illegal. It's not like I'd ever do it, I've invested too much in the car. But wouldn't it be great to see the driver's face?

This could be another epic- you might want to get a coffee.

In my last entry I wondered how different the roads would be if we co-operated with each other. Today I saw what happens if we don't even think about other people. Eastbound on the A50, approaching the M1. Everything stopped, so I guess there was a problem southbound. If you're not familiar with the road, it splits (the division is only paint, but it still counts) about half a mile from the motorway, the left lane goes northbound on to J24a, the other two go up to the roundabout, a little further on the A50 and on to J24. There's quite a long stretch where you can correct your mistake if you realise you're in the wrong lane. The two lanes continuing on the A50, as I've already said, are stationary, and I can see ahead that the M1 is slow Northbound. Just ahead of me is a silver Peugeot 307 travelling a bit below what I might expect for someone heading for the motorway but it looks like nobody's going anywhere fast and the driver still has plenty of time to match road speed. I'm starting to look towards the motorway, trying to judge what kind of speed they'll be doing when I get there- is everything slowing down, is it getting clearer...

The Peugeot stopped. Dead.

At this point, his indicator came on. He's blocking everybody trying to get to the M1, so he can jump the queue. But there's no gap to get into. Nobody beside this inconsiderate oaf has anywhere to go, nobody can move. Just how the hell does even somebody THIS stupid expect to get into the traffic? Finally something gets through the solid cranium to whatever this person's using for a brain that he's causing a problem and he almost swaps wing mirrors with the car he's trying to push into the middle lane. But, he's managed to get enough space to let people by on the diminished hard-shoulder. Sometimes I worry I might be clinically paranoid. Not today. Today it meant I was ready.

The M1 was fun, too. Actually joining was easy. I was able to match speeds, a considerate Audi driver (don't look so surprised, there are some around) had seen me approaching and had manufactured a gap for me. Keith on Radio Derby had already warned me about the accident Southbound causing huge delays, and that Northbound was almost as bad with speeds of about 20mph all the way up to J26. I was planning to leave the M1 at J25 and take an alternative (and more fun) route. Traffic moved slowly, but steadily. People were looking out for each other, and if you wanted to change lanes, it was possible. Still not enough drivers using the inside lane but hey, you can't have everything, right? Then we all stopped, and strangely this was just at the point where the accident was on the Southbound carriageway. And would you believe that when we started to move again, everything was back up to 69.995mph, all the way to J27?

Please, ladies and gentlemen- STOP RUBBERNECKING! Someone, somewhere must have statistics on how many accidents happen in those queues of traffic trying to get past an accident point like that. Watch the cars in front of you, not the wreckage on the hard-shoulder or worse yet on the other carriageway. For the record, the accident was about a mile south of J25. The vehicles were on the hard shoulder, and all three lanes were open. I suppose there could have been debris in the road but I was too busy trying to get home to notice. So, with no obvious impediment to traffic flow, I was still seeing three lanes of solid, standing traffic about half way between J26 and J27. Crazy.
:: Gary 13.9.02 [+] ::
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OK, I realise I've not written anything for over a week and I'm sure all my avid fans (I'd say both of you, but I can't think who the other one might be) are suffering withdrawal symptoms. If there's anyone reading this who doesn't actually know me, I'll be amazed. If you fall into that category (not knowing me, rather than being amazed), drop me a line gary_sheriston@hotmail.com and tell me how you found out about the page.

One day, my patience will snap. I'll be in the outside lane, at 69.9995mph (honestly, officer), and there'll be a big executive saloon bearing down on me. It'll sit on the rear bumper for a few seconds and I'll just lose control- and see how good those BMW brakes really are. I suspect I'll be able to get the driver's name as he passes through my passenger compartment. The rear of my car isn't all that attractive, so I can't understand why so many people want to be close to it. There are no stickers in the rear windscreen, so they can't be trying to read anything. Answers on a postcard, please.

Saw an Omega estate almost stand on its nose this morning on the A50, just another example of how everybody drives too close together. Me included, I have to say. But whenever I try to leave a safe gap, someone puts a car into it- so now I have to run a delicate balancing act. I need to create a gap just too small to put a car into but enough to let me stop if necessary. I might even think about upgrading my brakes...

Of course, to some people there's no such thing as a gap too small to put a car into. Certainly that was the case with the red Cavalier I saw Northbound at M1J26 this evening- in a lot of traffic joining the M1, this bozo drove alongside a green Peugeot 206CC almost onto the hard-shoulder, then forced his way ahead and into the inside lane. Then he dived into the centre lane with what looked like about an inch clearance at either end of the car and finally into the outside lane. By the looks of it, anything physically longer than the car is a valid gap. By the time he'd made it into the middle lane I was safely past and breathing a sigh of relief- that's just the kind of situation that can cause a 20+ car pile-up. I'm not sure what surprised me most, the fact that the driver made it, the fact they tried it at all, or that nobody hit the horn/flashed lights at the idiot. Are we all too used to this kind of thing?

Settle in, this is going to be a long read.

Something occurred to me this evening on the A50. Wouldn't driving be easier if we stopped competing and actually helped each other out? Back in August I mentioned how difficult it can be getting past trucks because people already in the outside lane won't give up their precious position in the queue. How's this for a scenario. We'll assume that we're on a three-lane motorway. About half a mile ahead of you are two trucks that are in the middle of an overtaking maneuver so they will be there for a while. Do you

a) Take up position in lane 1, waiting for the truck in lane 2 to finish overtaking so you can have a go
b) Get into lane 2 and overtake the truck in lane 1 once lane 2 is clear
c) Jump straight into the outside lane and join the half-mile queue of traffic overtaking both trucks

I'll give you a clue. You'll do C. Why? Because the truck in lane 2 will never complete its overtaking (at least it feels like it) and if you don't get into lane 3 right now, you never will. The result? Two completely clear lanes of motorway, and a mile-long queue in the outside lane. Where is the sense in that? If you find any, let me know. How about this as a plan. Same situation as before, but assume that every outside lane driver is prepared to let one driver in from lane 2 to overtake the trucks. Suddenly the road capacity is doubled, so the queue halves and nobody suffers more than a few seconds delay in getting past. I'd suggest using lane 1 as well, but I reckon that's stretching credibility too far. Trust me, this one-in-one-out filtering really does work. I was at the European Grand Prix at Doninigton in '93 - been there, done that, the T-shirt is still not dry. We left at about 5:30, in the thick of the traffic. Car Park Marshalls enforced filtering and we were out of the car park in ten minutes. Can anybody tell me how this compares with Silverstone?

Last item (I heard that! Nobody's forcing you to read it all at once...). I've been meaning to mention this for a few days now, but I keep forgetting. Travel broadcasts interrupting my music. Some people like it, some people don't. I heard of one man who categorically told a Mercedes salesman 'don't put one of those damn things that interrupts the stereo in my car'. I find them useful- mainly to find out why I'm stuck which defeats the object, but I still like to know. In the last couple of months they've alerted me to problems before I've hit them and I've changed my route accordingly. The only thing that irritates me about these broadcasts is the timing of the interrupt. I've lost count of the times I've heard "I'll have more for you after the news and sport, I'm Annie Scottney" followed by a couple of minutes of news. Or the other extreme, a full broadcast but the interrupt doesn't stop. Radio Derby, thanks for the information but I don't want to hear your morning thought!

To anyone who's still reading, thank you and good night.
:: Gary 11.9.02 [+] ::
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